Archive for January 28, 2022

Walmart Tumbles and Smoking Crack (feat. Trash Panda Podcast)

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QUICK HITS
rafe takes on three guys before really knowing their names. WELL WHAT ARE THEIR GODDAMN NAMES?!?! kollin, gotts, and jt. don’t forget it. these three lovely gentlemen are from the trash panda podcast and deserve your respect. they have been on some crazy adventures and aren’t shy about sharing. like roses for cocaine. and walmart accidents. and masturbation. and letterkenny. well, that’s mostly rafe. but still. celebrate these men! visit their website at trashpandapodcast.com and immerse yourselves in their awesomeness. also laugh a lot.

HIGH LOWS/SMILES AND CRIES
rafe’s high-low
high: brawlhalla win
low: college sucks

gotts’ high-low
high: new phone
low: walmart tumble

kollin’s high-low
high: quit drinking/start pot
low: covid twice

HOT HOT TOPICS
– what do you do when you get into bed and you can’t sleep? assume you’re working 14 hrs the next day.
– how do I know when I’m “too old for this shit” without being danny glover?
– I am oppressed by the consequences of my own actions. what is the best way to free myself of that oppression while also not accepting any outside help, lamenting the lack of outside help, and memory holing any previous action resulting in consequences? (dani’s hot take: fuck that person)
– if I’m driving down the highway, and a cop pulls me over for speeding, is it appropriate to finish vigorously masturbating?
– erections are too long after 4 hours and you need to see a doctor. what amount of time is too long for staying in bed (solo, no vigorous anything)? should I see a doctor after hours? days? weeks?
– what does hot garbage feel like and does it get a bad rep for no reason?
– pro-tips for long distance periods in a relationship?
– all podcasters this week should wear raccoon makeup or just use a filter. who wore it better?
– what is the minimum distance you should be from a patient before mocking them? assume sound will carry in an echo chamber
– is panda express trash?
– is red panda the greatest panda?

FALL IN LOVE
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
gotts: 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
jt: 14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
kollin:22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner.

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – the great debaters (2007) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427309)
rafe 6/10
jt 7/10
gotts 6/10
SONGS – college
relient k – college kids

NEXT MOVIE – the taking of pelham 123 (2009) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1111422)
NEXT SONGS – 123 songs

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Everything Else is Bullshit (feat. Dani)

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QUICK HITS
rafe is so hyped to have the lovely and talented dani on the show this time! not so hyped about bullies in middle school, though. but how about that tonga volcano like wtf?!? rafe continues to try playing brawlhalla, the world got super dumb again, and hot hot topics are now rated with stars. get ready – discord EVENT PLANNING is coming to movie night!

HIGH LOWS/SMILES AND CRIES
rafe’s high-low
high: work plants
low: games should be FUN

dani’s high-low
high: great convo
low: covid, you bastard

HOT HOT TOPICS
– which crime is this discord most likely to be used as evidence in and why did rafe commit it?
– who else disappointed that that damn asteroid missed earth? #fu22
– so microsoft is slowly aquiring all the buisnesses like disney now. what are the thoughts about them buying blizzard/activision? will this improve conditions there? will the demon bobby kotik finally be ousted
– I forgot everything this morning. how do I not forget things I don’t remember because I forgot?
– do you feel that the release of dnd “5.5” in 2024 will bring more players in or push out players who came in through 5e? and what are your thoughts on the lore changes that seem to be happening?
– what’s worse. slow drivers in the left lane or asshole drivers on the rest of the road?
– gary where are you?!
– why the fuck is there an extended version of a movie that’s already 2hr 37mins?
– can my children go on welfare so I don’t have to pay for their shit anymore?
– what is the best disney animated movie and why is it emperor’s new groove?
– all body parts are now referred to as the lumbar spine. update documentation accordingly.

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – american gangster (2007) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765429)
dani 6.25/10
rafe 5/10
SONGS – drugs!
tove lo – habits (stay high)

NEXT MOVIE – the great debaters () ()
NEXT SONGS – college

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Peaks and Valleys (feat. Lucas)

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QUICK HITS
look at this lucas, just crashing the #RaHaCa podcast. college womp womp. and BOATS! lots of boat talk, like CHINE. bot talk too, or just a scammer? OR TRUE LOVE?!? also rafe is dealing with new office adjustments aka beaucoup is right there how do we not talk to him all the time? #FU22 and thanks lucas for being an awesome guest!

HIGH LOWS/SMILES AND CRIES
rafe’s high-low
high: stand-up desk
low: eyeball bursting

lucas’ high-low
high: bone broth, and boat system
low: SICK

HOT HOT TOPICS
– fuck 2022, I’ve basically had a panic attack every day this year and how are you?
– why is everyone dying all of a sudden and also why is everything a conspiracy when it comes to old people??
– why did I spend most of the morning watching pilots analyzing an idiot I’d never heard of deliberately letting a plane crash?
– how many children will be named either covid or corona by the time the pandemic has ended?
– the only thing better than a partial solution is a full problem
– rafehatescaleb nfts when?
– why do my students wear less clothing the colder it gets?
– how many jackets will I leave at work before bringing one home?
– extra credit, what’s for lunch?
– why have high waisted jeans made a comeback? they looked terrible then and they look terrible now.
– heeuuuggghghgh.

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – deja vu (2006) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0453467)
lucas 7/10
rafe 7/10
SONGS – bomb
the aquabats! – chemical bomb

NEXT MOVIE – american gangster (2007) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765429)
NEXT SONGS – drugs!

Posted in Podcast, Rafe Hates Caleb tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,