Archive for March 25, 2022

Best Booty Call (feat. Dani)

QUICK HITS
we are pleased as always to have dani on the podcast! we get to talk about how much distain she has for a certain hot-hot-topic saga, rafe is doing the lost ark thing, maybe being a witch will happen later, and they try to remember a time before cell phones. also please call this number to get adorable pep talks by children: 707-998-8410. “fuck that person.” also rafe gushes a big about swagmonstaflexx and you should go follow him and daddylarp on twitch!!!

HIGH LOWS/SMILES AND CRIES
rafe’s high-low
high: boy drama no longer drama
low: school

dani’s high-low
high: her person! jinjer charity!
low: tiktok bullying

HOT HOT TOPICS
– what’s the best way to communicate to management about your desire to take on more responsibilities and give administrative input and why is it “declare 3 days in advance that you’re going to call in sick on a category 5 catastrofuck day because you were asked to do something in advance”
– what’s the best way to convince someone that a stressful training experience is best for new hires and why is it “I was trained in that stressful environment and I handled it just fine, also don’t put me there now because I can’t handle it and other people need to handle it and don’t ask me to handle it.”
– best pie to cook in a smoker or grill
– are the people who design bathroom stalls all voyeurs, or are they just happy to see us?
– did donald trump give watersports kinksters a bad name?
– what’s the best tree in north america and why?
– would you eat a shrimp po boy from a fast food place? what if that place is krystal burger?
– what’s the best opening line to use when texting someone for a booty call?
– what’s the smallest amount of power that you have seen go to someone’s head
– how oppressive is it to not have 10 other people change over to your way of doing things despite loudly grumblewhining about it?
– why do responsibilities always seem to entail being responsible for things?
– daylight time or standard time, when we eventually decide to stop changing our clocks twice a year?
– should I feel bad cuz I suck at chess but I defeat my son every time?
– fuck the haters. waffle house is good.

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – the magnificent seven (2016) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2404435)
rafe 4.2/10
dani 4.75/10
SONGS – seven

NEXT MOVIE – fences (2016) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2671706)
NEXT SONGS – 1950’s

Work is Too Worky (feat. Lucas)

QUICK HITS
is rafe slacking on her witch duties? is lucas moving to thailand!!!? is job too jobby?!?!?!? WE ARE GOING TO FIND OUT TOGETHER.

HIGH LOWS/SMILES AND CRIES
rafe’s high-low
high: beaucoup
low: maybe a boy, maybe a tire

lucas’ high-low
high: weight bet & hockey
low: hamster wheel

HOT HOT TOPICS
– if you think I should I do what the meme says today, give me a HELL YEAH! (today is 3:16; drink beer. give stunners)
– is it ever a bad time to raise hot hot topics?
– would posting this sign at my desk be “creating a hostile work environment”? (warning: to avoid serious injury, don’t tell me how to do my job!)
– at what hour does overtime flip from ugh to LOL WHEEE
– WHY DID ALL OF MY SHIT CHOOSE THE WEEK WE HAVE UNEXPECTED FAMILY STAYING TO BREAK
– dani is awesome
– today is day 6 straight of eating ice cream for lunch, what’s the longest you have eaten the same thing day after day?
– have you ever tried to be subtle about something and the other person broadcast it for everyone? what’s your most embarrassing moment like that?
– how do I make it to 245?
– how do y’all feel about the NL DH?
– is alex anthopoulos’s brain really this big? RIP freddie freeman. hello matt olson and his 8yr deal
– should you look up information before yelling at a nice old lady and making her cry or just go ham and very poorly cover your tracks after the fact? also does being on 30 day probation affect your decision making on this
– is watching your kids while you have gastrointestinal issues a bad vacation or the worst vacation?
– has spring sprung?
– is cottage cheese a liquid or a solid
– it has been zero days since our office was subpoenaed for a murder trial
– today we’re having ice cream for dinner (edited to add the appetizer: mini frosted donuts) – what are you eating for dinner?
– fizzle is awesome
– (GOLD STAR) what seasonal or limited time food item do you look forward to most? (think oreo flavors, holiday snacks, etc.)
– zodiac fortunes shape some people’s day. what would a zodiac sign based on your personality look like or act like? bonus points for a cool name.

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – the equalizer (2014) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0455944)
rafe 5/10
lucas 7/10
SONGS – equal songs

NEXT MOVIE – the magnificent seven (2016) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2404435)
NEXT SONGS – seven

Crystal Noise Intensifies (feat. LordFizzlebeef)

QUICK HITS
lots of mini conversations, like rafe with her hedge witch update and fizzle with his work stories. we got lent updates, lost ark drama, elden ring progress, and so many people to follow on twitch. WE LOVE THEM ALL.

Watch LordFizzlebeef, DaddyLarp, Tipsy_Ink and Codex_Lexicon on twitch!

HIGH LOWS/SMILES AND CRIES
rafe’s high-low
high: CEO candy and Tipsy_Ink
low: 40hard fail

fizzle’s high-low
high: happy birthday search
low: office drama & picard

HOT HOT TOPICS
– when your LDR says maybe you shouldn’t visit anymore until they say so but otherwise carry on as if nothing happened should you just move on?
– which is worse: a show that ruins your favourite franchise or a show that ruins your childhood hero
– how much coffee is too much? is there such a thing?
– how much story should be between battles in a strategy RPG? I bought triangle strategy and have played for about 2 hours just reading and pushing buttons. just 1 fight so far.
– a schedule of appointments is really just a guideline, the patient experience is improved by seeing people in random order
– did anyone have “a 1000 year old Japanese demon escapes its stone prison” on their 2022 disaster bingo card? https://www.express.co.uk/news/science/1577655/archaeology-news-japan-1000-year-old-killing-stone-ancient-demon-unleashed
– where do you draw the line?
– how many special events do you schedule for the same day when you are already short staffed?
– how do I find joy in my life and stop caring about this shitty job when my boss only cares about throwing us under the bus?
– why does work keep giving us trainings that insist we must now be more collaborative than ever when no one wants to fucking collaborate?
– what is the best way to push someone out of the office and why is it “be excluded from conversations the person you are excluding has with other members of the team”

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – 2 guns (2013) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1272878)
rafe 7/10
fizzle 6.5/10
SONGS – 2 “blank” songs
neutral milk hotel – two-headed boy

NEXT MOVIE – the equalizer (2014) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0455944)
NEXT SONGS – equal songs

Professional Fluffer Tea Tips

QUICK HITS
the long-awaited return of the man himself! rafe is still learning to be a hedge witch, still obsessed with lost ark , but why does her butler look like a hooker? lent starts! time to restrict yourselves for jesus! caleb has started ff mystic quest randomizer made by wildham. go to their website ffmqrando.net and play! new dog? antiwork? so much tea.

HIGH LOWS/SMILES AND CRIES
rafe’s high-low
high: bagpipes
low: brutus got covid

caleb’s high-low
high: drunk music videos
low: pokemon evolution

HOT HOT TOPICS
– will this fucking guy in my work meeting listen to the words coming out of my mouth?
– throw me somethin’, mister?
– how long should I spend trying to git gud my way through a boss fight before I accept that margit the fell omen is a punk ass bitch and I need to go do other shit like “not dying repeatedly”
– how many official work complaints does it take to get to the centre of the “you’re fired for being a workplace impediment” tootsie pop?
– you brought home a gold medal from a newly added olympic sport – what’s the sport?
– what food do you feel is underrated and needs more appreciation?
– a stomach bug should not make you want to die all day. when you stand you just throw up. why is that? am I going to die, for real?
– who is this new voice on the podcast and why does he sound familiar?
– how much lead time should you get before running a class on something you are not trained in?
– how long after work ends do you stop doing work shit? bonus points for negative numbers.
– suppose that I have no intentions of racing FFR at a given time. would it be wrong to ping people to race and then back out as soon as at least two others join?
– with weird al choosing daniel radcliffe to portray him in his upcoming autobiographical film…the real HHT is who would be your actor/actress of choice for the inevitable RaHaCa biopic?
– 99% sure I have covid again (hopefully getting tested tomorrow to find out). if so, what “super power” do you think I’ll acquire this time?

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – flight (2012) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1907668)
caleb 5/10
rafe 5/10
SONGS – flying songs

NEXT MOVIE – 2 guns (2013) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1272878)
NEXT SONGS – 2 “blank” songs