Archive for May 27, 2022

UWU Just For You-uwu

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QUICK HITS
baby voice battle, will rafe ever forgive dell for the way they treated the G15? has caleb gotten all the work stuff sorted? probably not. also what are you doing, step ladder-san?!?! and caleb gets so many allergy shots. they get a little sad about school shootings. uwu for you-uwu.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: love after world domination
low: people in my goddamn fucking personal space

caleb’s high-low
high: pay raise
low: going to work

HOT HOT TOPICS
– smashed burger or stuffed burger? and stuffed with what?
– breakfast sausage is overrated.
– why did I just develop a bad cough 3 days before my daughter’s first birthday party? can I cancel the party, or should I just quarantine in fiji while the party proceeds?
– how do I convince the owner/roommate that the other roommate no longer meshes with our way of living and needs to go?
– you had two weeks of day work on a project. this project determines whether you pass or fail. what percent of kids actually turn it in?
– why was your guess at least double the actual percent?
– how many kids need to needlessly die at school before we say not every wahoo needs a gun?
– how the crap am I supposed to follow that up?
– what’s the best simpsons quote to use as a medical treatment plan and why is it “we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas!”
– why is purposefully triggering someone with PTSD the fault of the person with PTSD? and when called out on hoping someone’s house burns down, can you think of a better play to defend yourself than “I wasn’t joking I legitimately hope their house burns down in a wildfire because it’s ugly.”
– saga: moving to israel to escape gun violence: big brain or BIGGEST BRAIN?

CHRIS FARLEY
MOVIE – airheads (1994) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109068)
caleb 8.75/10
rafe 8.5/10
SONGS – rafe is air; caleb is head
bach – air for g string

NEXT MOVIE – billy madison (1995) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112508)
NEXT SONGS – rafe is billy and caleb is school

Posted in Podcast, Rafe Hates Caleb tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m an Optimist

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QUICK HITS
rafe is having masking issues. caleb has to see artery blood everywhere. caleb had to go full full corporate and missed out on his cereal. caleb is getting things done! BREAD IS COMING. caleb is going strong on #75hard. music albums are moving fast. there’s some d&d stuff, and more hyping up of midnight mass.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: thunderstorm
low: people in my goddamn fucking personal space

caleb’s high-low
high: getting it done!
low: being in the office

HOT HOT TOPICS
– difficult people are usually some of the most intelligent.
– how do you ingest your holy stories?
– can you grill a pie, if so… which pie would you grill
– industrial sized fans are called ‘big ass fans’. would you have been more creative with the name?
– dani is the best
– given that dani is the best per above and she doesn’t sleep, can we turn her into a perpetual motion machine?
– private health insurance is the worst and should be abolished.
– late-stage capitalism: broken as hell, or HOLY SHIT FUCK, WE’RE ALL SCREWED?
– would you rather be known as a funny person but never taken seriously, or be known as a serious person who is never seen as having a sense of humor?
– using letter grade A-E how well would you score adulting if you are spreading peanut butter on your sandwich with a spoon
– re dani is the best – fizzle is wrong, he is the best.
– pre-teens are the worst.
– how long do you do a job before just leaving and not telling anyone? note that this job requires supervision of minors.

CHRIS FARLEY
MOVIE – wayne’s world 2 (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108525)
caleb 5.5/10
rafe 5.5/10
SONGS – world
five iron frenzy – my evil plan to save the world

NEXT MOVIE – airheads (1994) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109068)
NEXT SONGS – rafe is air; caleb is head

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Just Make it Through the Night

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QUICK HITS
the senate tried to protect women’s abortion rights and it failed. y’all need to stay the hell away from rafe’s uterus. caleb and rafe are both filling the void with shopping, like butcherbox, amazon, and men’s clothes shopping. caleb got a new cook book! about bread! bread science by emily buehler. caleb is watching a new netflix show that reminds him of stephen king. rafe has way too many amazon returns. they talk about masks at concert venues, baseball games, and movie theaters. caleb had a great experience at the theater. so many rants. also rafe learns what boosting can mean. “there are no bugs; we’re all going to die.”

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: headset
low: too hot and also abortion rights are too limited

caleb’s high-low
high: spending money & midnight mass
low: disney+ or internet? and d&d

HOT HOT TOPICS
– when is nap time?
– do I have to go to work?
– if you were building a new instrument, what color would you stain the wood?
– why is magic so magicy?
– do I need to cosplay as bubble boy if I want to go to live concerts again? and if so, tell me why I shouldn’t get into the mosh pit
– do you believe in conspiracies? chemtrails? aliens? werewolves and vampires that are pining away their whole lives for a generic teenager?
– why did my brother’s ex-gf send me a dick pic of some dude she was planning to screw that night?
– how can so many bad things happen to a person when that person is clearly just “being themselves” despite all the haters?
– why do all these people I date have thoughts and feelings of their own? why don’t they just do everything I want and only ever things for me?
– my boss asked me to interfere in an ongoing legal dispute with an ex employee that is also my friend. how terrible is that friend for not liking me butting in and cancelling travel plans with me? how dare they not appreciate all the valuable time I spent with them. clearly this entire chain of events is my bosses fault. (reminder: hot hot saga is all about a single person and they are unfortunately real)

CHRIS FARLEY
MOVIE – coneheads (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106598)
caleb 7.5/10
rafe 7/10
SONGS – head
aquabats – cat with 2 heads

NEXT MOVIE – wayne’s world 2 (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108525)
NEXT SONGS – world

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Everything is Marvelous

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QUICK HITS
caleb saw everything everywhere all at once and he insists rafe watches it. SPOILERS for ETERNALS 11:00-15:00 minutes. caleb finished “the baking bible” and the entire works of rush. rafe has issues with 75hard blah, her back, airfryer issues, neverending headset hunting, and amazon refusing to deliver to her door.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: breakfast and toast gifs
low: everything is breaking

caleb’s high-low
high: everything everywhere all at once
low: cutting himself

HOT HOT TOPICS
– if you could change just one single solitary thing about your life, with the knowledge you have now, what would it be?
– why does my body hate me so much?
– if the greenhouse is abandoned, and it’s raining but not thundering, and I’m the one wearing the victorian dress, is it still sexy time?
– I’m 2,525 miles away from where I need to be and I’m listening to music to try and make me less mad/sad about it. what’s your go to music when you’re trying to unfuck your mood?
– if you tell work that you are getting your bathrooms renovated and due to the noise cant work, but in reality you havent heard nor seen any contractors how long do you wait before you blow a gasket in your mind?
– what do you tell your job when they do finally come in and make enough noise to rouse the dead?
– why in the world would someone make a device that plugs into a usbc for power? why isnt it straight up USB? why do i have to now buy a charging block that accepts this weird connector after just spending 30 bucks on the charger
– when eating the rich, how best should you season the bastards?
– how much foreplay is expected before lovingly pressing your bumper into someone else’s bumper? (note, my car wasn’t involved, I just watched it happen in the parking garage today)
– if you have 4 hours to complete a task, how long can you sleep with 20 people waiting for you to finish?
– since we started the discussion on sunday ( you slackers missed it!) who is the best and worst 90s SNL alum in film? film career only
– someone’s entire online life could be a lie, and you might never find out. how does that make you feel?
– what does privacy mean to you? is it letting the government survey you in the guise of “national security” or is it the government telling a woman what they can and can’t do with their bodies?

CHRIS FARLEY
MOVIE – wayne’s world (1992) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105793)
caleb 5/10
rafe 5/10
SONGS – world

NEXT MOVIE – coneheads (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106598)
NEXT SONGS – head

Posted in Podcast, Rafe Hates Caleb tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,