Archive for August 27, 2021

There’s Wedding Stuff

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QUICK HITS
we join our heroes as they traverse the wild world. caleb has visiting outlaws, there are adventures in baking, and also physical pains as caleb defends against back attacks and bug bites with toxic damage. rafe has fewer things going on. mostly just keto cooking and her obsession with the youtube channel ketoserts. caleb and rafe had very different experiences with costco.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: meatballs
low: heat

caleb’s high-low
high: wedding stuff
low: spider bite

HOT HOT TOPICS
– thoughts on OF banning and then UNbanning porn?
– will the large infrastructure package working through congress allow my son’s school bus to arrive on time going forward?
– CM punk? CM punk.
– why are FF black mages called black mages when they are in fact blue?
– I need jumper cables for my brain
– how hard would I need to hit myself in the head with a 6 inch cast iron skillet (dumb hands can’t wield the 12 inch) to knock myself the fuck out?
– pick one band that best represents the 90s as a decade.
– what childhood show that hasn’t been remade yet needs to be? on the flipside, what childhood show that has been remade shouldn’t have been?
– new fallout game based in japan. “hell yeah, gonna be badass!” or “whoa there, too soon bro!”
– what’s your favourite amount of delay to see a doctor at an appointment and why is it fucking an hour and 25 minutes
– following up my earlier question, I drove to his school to pick him up, but he already left on the bus. I beat the bus home… barely. do I tell my wife?
– if there is any game music that is ever over played its most definitely Zelda Music.

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – the pelican brief (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107798)
caleb 4.9/10
rafe 5/10
SONGS – BIRD SONGS
ben thornewill – songbirds

NEXT MOVIE – philadelphia (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107818/)
NEXT SONGS – philadelphia songs

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Our Customer Journey

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QUICK HITS
dragon warrior randomizer, peaches, food review, bachelor party planning, bummer summer, everything is on fire! and final fantasy randomizer, and so many

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: keto
low: heat

caleb’s high-low
high: white shirt party
low: party food

HOT HOT TOPICS
– is fizzle this universes comic book guy, but gundam
– is there a song or a sound or a smell that reminds you of something embarrassing or unpleasant? example when I was a kid I was on the third stage of castlevania. and with no rhyme or reason my brother vomited all over my bare leg.
– how many passes did it take before you read this headline correctly?
https://twitter.com/NBCLA/status/1427498520513327131
– why are republicans?
– why are blue flames hotter than red flames?
– what’s the best buzzword bukkake you can come up with that means literally nothing
– is punching a doctor bad? what if their dumb fuck ass deserves it for being an oblivious shitbag?
– is shitting my pants in rage a constructive way to confront the fact that I’m working through lunch today because it’s coming
– should I be allowed to yell about people at fizzle’s place of employment? and why do you agree that the answer is yes?
– where in the phrase “yes you stupid fucking shithead” do insert the word “doctor” to maintain professionalism

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – much ado about nothing (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107616)
caleb 7.75/10
rafe 7.5/10
SONGS – nothing battle

NEXT MOVIE – the pelican brief (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107798)
NEXT SONGS – BIRD SONGS

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So, You Want to Plan a Party

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QUICK HITS
caleb had a busy week with old ellicott city, dudeomg top golf, randomizer samplings, and the suicide squad (don’t worry; no spoilers). but the best part is his huge rant about parties. it’s impressively ranty. rafe has been reading adult romance novels about ice planet barbarians by ruby dixon. it’s amazing. also some #bummersummer as always.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: supplements and doctor’s appt
low: everything is burning

caleb’s high-low
high: old ellicott city
low: family dog

HOT HOT TOPICS
– books: why are we scared of them, and how do they threaten muh freedom?
– have waldo and carmen sandiego ever been seen in the same place together?
– do cats report what they see us do back to anyone???
– do “step on me, mommy” and “step on me, daddy” have the same energy, or not?
– what’s your favorite fetish that you don’t personally have?
– backflips or fontflips, which do you think is harder, and which is more impressive to you?
– choose a hot topic. pay (1) unless other hot topics you control. then, shuffle the hot topic into your graveyard.
– gympie gympie trees… what the fuck nature, why you do this?
– is AI generated content the future of gaming?
– how many books does it take to fix the phantom menace?
– what the fk happened to game genies?
– why tell us the “real feel” in weather reports, it just makes me sadder
– what’s the worst pun you heard lately?
– who else wants snow right now?
– the 2021 game of the year boyfriend dungeon released today. what kind of weapon could you see yourself having a good time with?
– I made a salad, sliced a steak and put it on top. at what ratio of greens to meat does it cease to be a “a steak salad” and become “steak in a bowl with some mixed greens”
– what is the proper amount of notice for an emergency all staff meeting that should have been an email?
– how often do you check your email? how many notification channels do you have? (this is officially day 5, although I’ve had to work 7 days, is it vacation yet?)

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – malcolm x (1992) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104797)
caleb 7.5/10
rafe 5.5/10
SONGS – songs with X
the bens – XFIRE

NEXT MOVIE – much ado about nothing (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107616)
NEXT SONGS – nothing battle

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Bummer Summer

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QUICK HITS
lots of talk about cancel culture, how fucked up activision blizzard has been, the best way to cook with heavy cream, rafe’s professional voice, the return of #75hard, caleb getting harassed by bugs, and please watch this about killing birds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71gilEP4aJY

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: dentist compliment
low: I’M FAAAAAAAT

caleb’s high-low
high: run
low: gym panic

HOT HOT TOPICS
– all the gold metals given out in tokyo are made of chocolate!
– can we every really get beyond the thunderdome?
– why is caleb so awesome?
– pick a haircut for each other! one rule: you can’t tell caleb to shave the beard off.
– is it possible to throw someone a surprise party when he knows he’s turning 40?
– fuck blizzard and fuck activision
– who’s someone crazy that you’ve had to deal with this week?
– food is the best. what’s the most under-rated or obscure food combination that more people need to know about?
– what’s your favourite dumb reality competition show, bonus points if it’s cooking related
– was MXC the height of comedy and physical challenge?
– does this cactus need more water, more sunlight, or what? (stem is thinning, he used to be fat) [REPOT]
– do you prefer your lawyers with or without katanas? and would you trust a lawyer who can only weakly slap a table, or do they need to be able to pound the table with enough force to shake the room and make people cower in fear?
– when is #bummersummer going to end? I’ve had enough of this ride and would like to get off now. thanks. [NEVER HOW DARE YOU]
– what are the odds that caleb, after last weeks firm stance of having bought final fantasy way too many times already, still picks up the pixel remaster… oh wait never mind

DENZEL WASHINGTON
MOVIE – ricochet (1991) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102789)
caleb 4.75/10
rafe 3.75/10
SONGS – bouncing battle
sugarcult – bouncing off the walls

NEXT MOVIE – malcolm x (1992) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104797)
NEXT SONGS – songs with X

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