Archive for Rafe Hates Caleb

It’s Our Year to be Angry

QUICK HITS
buy the limited’s album NOW (not a sponsor)!
https://thelimitedmusic.bandcamp.com/album/the-coffin-or-the-suitcase

rafe is a couple days into keto and BIG ANGY. caleb is on an allergy trip and he is also kinda angy. new year’s eve was great, the movie was okee, and we hope everyone is doing their best so far in 2024.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: time off work
low: no snacks

caleb’s high-low
high: new year’s eve
low: NYE mental prep

HOT HOT TOPICS
– caleb needs to rejoin the government as a 2nd job, just to take care of my paperwork. all agencies, he can just come in as a trouble shooter. 90 business days to update one number is excessive
– how often have you actually stuck with your new year’s resolution?
– where’s the other cream of [insert thing] condensed soups? why can’t I find cream of beef, pork, fish.
its always just chicken and mushroom…
– what are the new years traditions for your family? both growing up and current.
– do you sing “auld lang syne” on nye?
– what insane headline will we have this year? predict the craziest event for this year.
– it has been said that even bad pizza is good. to each their own with their pizza topping choices. my biggest concern with “bad pizza” is that it isn’t cooked properly. all too often, the center isn’t cooked right and since you take a bite out of the middle of a pizza first once it is sliced, that first bite can make or break the pizza.

WILLIAM H. MACY
MOVIE – the client (1994) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109446)
caleb 6/10
rafe 6/10
SONG – 2023 song
the limited – braindead (the coffin or the suitcase, 2023)
gary – attorney sidekick

NEXT MOVIE – oleanna (1994) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110722)
NEXT SONG – failing

Cancel Your Amazon Prime

QUICK HITS
sometimes the sliding screen door just comes of its track and you have to be prepared to deal with it. hey amazon is going to charge for ad-free streaming. cancel your amazon prime! also the buddies talk about christmas. word of the week is CHRYSALISM: the tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: christmas
low: screen door

caleb’s high-low
high: christmas
low: amazon bullshit

HOT HOT TOPICS
– what is the most nonsensical way you’ve seen to get christmas gifts home on a plane?
– celebrating the new year happens too late in the day. staying up past midnight gets so much harder as we get older. perhaps it is time to have new year’s eve celebrations at 8:30 pm so we can be in bed at a reasonable hour.
– I’m staying at an airbnb. is business time™ allowed there?
– when do you you change from driving to taking a plane? i.e. how far, how many people, etc.?
– best meal this year. be specific (it can’t be “cheese” it could be a cheese board with three goat cheeses, salami, and rye bread from this one place)
– why do we even have new year’s in january? couldn’t it be any day? maybe an astronomical event like the solstice? or maybe when it’s nice outside so we can see people? if you had the power, when would we celebrate new year’s?
– I declined a promotion recently because I wasn’t happy with the offer. the second time, I said maybe. it seems like I am in the position of power in the negotiations, so I’m going to shoot for the sky. I don’t think there is enough of this mentality and approach in the workplace nowadays.

WILLIAM H. MACY
MOVIE – being human (1994) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106379)
caleb 5/10
rafe 5/10
SONG – human
the human league – human

NEXT MOVIE – the client (1994) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109446)
NEXT SONG – 2023 song of the year

Not Allergic to Semen

QUICK HITS
caleb is very excited about shaking spears watching “as you like it,” but not too excited about food management when going out. caleb got his nut allergy results! rafe is upset about the vin diesel alleged sexual assault? word of the week is HURKLE-DURKLE.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: sicky but wfh
low: wax everywhere

caleb’s high-low
high: shakespeare theatre
low: eating out

HOT HOT TOPICS
– which HHT would make the best random work email from your boss/management?
– what would wednesday be without memes? hump day, frogs, etc
– what makes a better pet? a camel or a frog?
– what happened in this world where men think it is ok to send unsolicited dick pics to women?
– why doesn’t christmas have its own traditional gambling game and what would be a good game to adapt to the role?
– masks haven’t been mandatory for quite some time, but more and more people are wearing them. yet there are still people who are wearing their masks under their noses. I don’t get it.
– white elephant gift exchanges are objectively bad, prove me wrong
– christmas shopping isn’t fun

WILLIAM H. MACY
MOVIE – christmas special! it’s a very merry muppet christmas movie (2002) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0329737)
caleb 2.5/10
rafe 3.25/10
SONG – christmas song within last five song
offspring – christmas (baby please come home)

NEXT MOVIE – being human (1994) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106379)
NEXT SONG – human

Flavorflation

QUICK HITS
caleb baked so many cookies! rafe wants YOU to make your own cookies. because snacks are getting worse. you can do better. https://www.businessinsider.com/inflation-high-prices-costs-making-food-snacks-sodas-worse-quality-2023-12

caleb considers making the dickens out of some punch. and he’s having some issues with his nuts. also lapcorp waiting room. and caleb cannot relax!! what’s going on with international flights?!
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/dec/12/stowaway-flight-denmark-la

word of the week is Mauerbauertraurigkeit! yeah you try saying it.

HIGH LOWS
rafe’s high-low
high: screening of “art of a hit”
low: sony headphones

caleb’s high-low
high: screening of “art of a hit”
low: can’t relax

HOT HOT TOPICS
– companies that confirm a reservation that is not available should pay you for your time and for the alternate stuff, in addition to a refund.
– what makes “one night in bangkok” such a banger?
– you sit down at the table for your holiday dinner. you grab a roll (bread, biscuit, whatever your carb of choice) and begin to butter it. at what stage of butter application do you move from inadequate, to sufficient, to overkill, and finally to paula deen levels of butter? where do you, rafe and caleb, find yourself on this scale? does the scale apply for other spreadables too, such as peanut butter and jelly?
– a newly inaugurated school board president in a philadelphia suburb took an oath of office last monday evening by placing her hand on a stack of books that have been targeted by book bans. if you were to hold a public office, what would you choose to be sworn in on?
– should chess be played with various cheeses instead of pieces? and instead of captured you devour your opponents entire board instead? bonus if paired with good wine complementing the cheeses.
– there was controversy in the chess world last year when a player was accused of cheating by having electronic signals sent to the sex toy he was allegedly wearing. the incident, which spurred a lawsuit, was settled in august of this year.
– you’re training for like the champions of champions league of chess to go up against the reigning champion. what would your training montage music be?
– the chess world missed bobby fischer for years. whats your favorite legend of a missing person? could be worldwide like hoffa or personal
– why am I more tired after a day of not doing much than I am after a super long busy day? I think my tired is broken
– I only just now remembered the chessmen cookies by pepperidge farm thanks to your chess prompt.
– what cookie or cookie brand have you eaten that you feel is the most forgettable?

WILLIAM H. MACY
MOVIE – searching for bobby fischer (1993) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108065)
caleb 7.3/10
rafe 6.5/10
SONG – searching
u2 – I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

NEXT MOVIE – christmas special! it’s a very merry muppet christmas movie (2002) (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0329737)
NEXT SONG – christmas song within last five song

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